My name is Nikki. The purpose of my page is to explore how people are learning to live well and how that is defined by them. I’ve spent the last fifteen years chasing the size I once was, regretting that I didn’t stop this unhealthy train sooner, wishing I had paid attention to my own needs, instead of distracting myself with the needs of others, so I didn’t have to deal with my own stuff.
UNTIL NOW!
SO, I’m embarking on an adventure or multiple adventures you could say, to learn from those that I believe live well and share what I learn. The definition of learning to live well is going to be different for everyone and what helped me discover my breakthrough was Pilates. I felt hopeless, multiple, half hearted, failed attempts to find my healthy place. So many dollars were spent on boot camps, unused gym memberships and countless workout videos, UNTIL, I stumbled upon an Instagram ad and decided to take a chance on Club Pilates. I thought for sure I wouldn’t be able to do something like Pilates at my size.
Lauren, was the first face I saw the day I dropped by, her kind, warm and welcoming demeanor, assured me I made the right decision. The first month or two, I felt tired and liked it a lot, but still wasn’t ready to commit to going all the time just yet. The progress was slow. One day, the instructor asked us to sit up from a laying down position in class. Now previously, I hadn’t been able to do that unassisted. That day though, I DID IT!!!! My core had become so strong that my stomach muscles hoisted me up with ease! I remember kind of shouting something out about it during class and the instructor that day smiled, you could tell she was genuinely happy for me. From that day on, I WAS HOOKED!
After years of desperately searching for the quick fix, hoping the weight would fall off as easily as it was put on, I’ve finally come to terms with the fact that the road is going to be VERY slow. I know I’d have to enjoy what I’m doing, because the healthy wasn’t going to show up easily. I would have to fight for it, and so the long battle of learning to live well had begun on February 14, 2018. As I write this, I’m realizing I started on Valentine’s day. I guess I decided to luv myself on that day and make myself a priority. Telling friends and family that I had to go to Pilates and would love to spend time with them, but only after that. I would make myself a priority and that was something new for me.
I’ve fallen off the healthy train a number of times, but this time I would hold on tight, even if it’s just with my pinky finger, flipping off the unhealthy as we ride by, as if to say “I haven’t completely fallen off, and you won’t win this time!!” I will continue learning to live well because the older I get, the more I realize that life is for living, not watching it pass you by. Living your most joyful life by whatever definition suits you at the time. Road blocks continue to pop up, and perfection is not something I would ever require of myself. Perfect doesn’t exist in my world, nor would I want it to. I’m going to keep powering forward, day by day, step by step, one small victory at a time and doing my best to enjoy every minute!
This blog is dedicated to my mom, who lived her life with joy, courage and purpose, a prisoner of her body, with the deck stacked against her, but with a fierce will to live, her best life!